Michael's Song

I don't know where to begin, so I'll just go ahead and start. In case you are wondering, Michael is my son, but he doesn't enter the story untill much farther a long. Well, my story starts when I was seventeen, and fresh out of highschool. I had enough of my crappy town and ditched it for Seattle. I didn't have many things, so I took the basic things I would need, saved up some money and bought a bus ticket. I arrived at a greyhound station with nothing but my bag and some money to rent a room at a crummy hotel. I found a job at a Record store a few days later. That is where I met Timmy. He has many parts in my story, as you will see. That is also how I ended up rooming with Merradith, she was like a Sister to me. She even saved my life once. That is a part of the story too. Well, that is as good as an introduction as I can give you. Here goes. . . .

The bus pulled into the greyhound station on 8th street. It was a crummy area. There were old storefronts all over, all as bad as the next. I spent the whole bus ride next to a very large woman who insisted rubbing rose petals on her pits were enough to cover any BO. She was very wrong! Seeing the aproaching staion made my spirits soar! This is what I had been waiting for, my dream was here. I ditched all my old friends and my sad excuse for a family. I had to get out before I drowned in the sorrow of my decaying town. I got of the bus with nothing but my Jansport backback and two hundred dollars in my wallet. I decided to just pick a direction and start walking.

She Walks Alone

I put out my cigarette in the street, demolishing it beneath my foot. I need to quit, I keep telling myself, but I need to quit a lot of things. I’ll quit tomorrow. I promised myself. I started the drunken walk to my car. It was an old black Honda that made me feel sexy when I drove it. I climbed in, started her up, and turned up the stereo. I was too drunk to drive, but I didn’t care. That’s what beer does to you, isn’t it? I shifted into reverse, backed out, then sped out of The Lot. The window was down, and I relished in the freedom of the wind blowing threw my hair. I wore it just above my shoulders these days. It was easier, and cuter, I thought. I pulled into the gas station on my way to my apartment to get a pack of smokes. I opened the door and felt it coming, that wave of sick nausea that you get when your body refuses to process any more liquor. Fuck. I thought. I jumped out and ran full speed to the bathroom inside. I made it just in time to manage not to spew forth my soul all over the floor. I sat there for a while, hugging the toilet before I was out of things to retch. It took all my strength, but I finally managed to get up. I grabbed onto the railing beside the toilet, hauled myself up, and went to the sink to splash cold water on my face and rinse my mouth out. I looked in the mirror and my mascara was running, my eyes were bloodshot and I my breath reeked. “Don’t you look fucking sexy?” I said to myself. I grabbed a piece of gum from my pocket to attempt to freshen my breath. I walked out and realized I had left my keys in the ignition and my driver door open.
“Shit!” I shouted, and ran back outside. My door was shut and the keys weren’t in the ignition.
“Hey, sugar. You shouldn’t leave your keys in the car. Some Jackass could come along and steal it.” I turned to the sound of the voice.
“Peter! You ass! You scared the crap out of me.” I said, trying my hardest not to slur my speech. Peter was a friend of mine who worked the closing shift at the gas station.
“You don’t seem so cool to drive.” He said.
“Don’t preach. I’m fine.” I said.
“Bull. My shift is over in five. Let me finish this smoke, lock up, and I’m driving you home.
“I don’t have a choice, do I?” I asked.
“You’re a smart cookie!” He said sarcastically. He got up and walked inside. I sat down on the curb and waited for him to come back out. I don’t know how much time went by before he came back out. I lose track of time a lot. Finally he came out and locked the doors. He had a six pack and a couple packs of smokes in one arm.
“You still live in the same place sugar?” He asked.
“Yeah, the party house, off 2nd Avenue.” I said, smirking.
“Ah, yes. Fond memories.” He said, smiling. We climbed in and he drove off.
“Social Distortion, nice.” He said, and cranked up the radio. Mommy’s Little Monster was playing. I sat in the passenger seat in a daze watching the city lights flash by. We pulled into my driveway a few minutes later.
“No one is home?” He asked.
“No. It is just me for the night. Tom and Malcolm are staying at Christy’s house.” I replied.
He got out, but I just sat in the car, because I didn’t feel like moving. He walked over and lifted me up out of the passenger seat, carrying me to the door. Fiddling with my keys, he managed to open the door, while holding me. I was impressed. He carried me inside, and laid me on the couch. I didn’t remember him leaving, but a few minutes later he came back inside with the beer and cigarettes.
“So, what are you on?” He asked.
“Beer.” I said.
“Don’t BS me. You took something.”
“I don’t remember. Really.” I said. I usually didn’t remember, so I was telling the truth for once.
“Fine, don’t share.” He said.I sat up and motioned for him to sit down next to me. I lit up a cigarette and pointed to the beer. He cracked one open and gave it to me, then grabbed one for himself. My senses heightened. When Peter opened the beer, I heard the pop of the can and the beer fizz within. The lights in the house were excruciatingly bright, I had to keep flinching. I was going into the zone. I felt my body relax and my breathing slow down. My arm fell to the side and I dropped my beer. At least I think I dropped it. My hand was numb, so I couldn’t tell, but I’m pretty sure I could hear it roll across the floor. I head some mumbling, but couldn’t make out the words. It seemed so far away. There was a large crack against my face. I couldn’t feel it, but my vision blurred for a second. I just got smacked in the face, and I didn’t feel a damn thing! This is some great shit! I thought. Then my vision was clear again. I could also hear much clearer. The mumbling turned into my name, and was coming from the left of me.
“Cass. . ie. Cassie????” I heard. Fuck, am I going crazy? Who the hell is calling my name? I couldn’t lift my head to see, when I tried it just sat like a lead weight on my shoulders. Then my body started to shake. Not tremble, but shake. I could feel a slight pressure on my upper arms and realized someone was shaking me. Then I remembered Peter was there. He lifted me up and looked me right in the eyes. Then I could understand exactly what he was saying.
“Cassie! What the FUCK did you take? I need to FUCKING know!” I had to think long and hard. Suddenly I remembered being at The Lot, and standing in the back with Mitch and his friend. Taking the pill, and swallowing it with a shot. Then I remember taking another one. Remembering was the easy part, now I had to focus all my concentration on talking. At first everything came out as a mumble. Jumbled words all slurred together. Finally I said it.
“K.” I said.
“How Much?” Peter asked.
“Two.” I said. “No. . . No, three.”
“Christ!” He yelled. I felt him pick me up and watched the texture on the wall fly by me as he ran. He banged my head on the door when he went into a room. I saw the porcelain of the toilet. He sat me up, propped me against the toilet and opened my mouth. I felt him shove his finger in my throat. I felt myself gag. Eventually I threw up for the second time that night. Looking back later I know I probably would have been fine if he hadn’t made me vomit, but it would have been one nasty night. Realistically, making me hurl my guts out didn’t do much. The K was already working its way through me, traveling everywhere in my body. You never know though. I don’t remember anything after that.I woke up a few hours later in bed. The light was on, and Peter was on my computer. I tried to turn over, but I was too weak.
“Hey, you finally came to.” I heard Peter say.
“How you feeling?”
“I’ve been better.” I groaned.
“Are you okay? Can I risk going to sleep now?” He asked.
“Yes.” I said.He climbed into my bed with me and turned off the light.
“Sorry.” I moaned.
“Don’t be. We’ve all had our bad trips. Next time, just take one. Okay?”
“K.” I said. I fell asleep wrapped up in Peter’s arms.

I woke up to the sound of my shower. I rolled over to look at the clock, and was blinded by the sun peeking in my window. I climbed out of bed, squinting, and stumbling to shut the blinds. My head was pounding, and I felt all shaky. I hated coming down. I looked at the clock and it was 2:00 in the afternoon. I had to be at work in an hour! I worked the early shift at Jack’s Place, a sports bar a couple blocks from my house. I didn’t mind it, but I hated the early shift, all the fun and good tips are at the late shift. I didn’t have time to wait for Peter to get out of the shower, so I just grabbed a towel out of my laundry basket, and walked in the bathroom. I opened the shower curtain, to reveal Peter rinsing shampoo from his hair. I surprised him, so he got it in his eyes.
“You scared the crap out of me Cass! What are you doing?” He asked me.
“I have work at 3:00. No time to lose!” I said, stripping and climbing into the shower. Peter was still rinsing the shampoo from his eyes. I just stood there and watched him. He was well built. Skinny, but not scrawny! He was well defined and had several tattoos and two earrings in his left ear. His hair was short and died black.
“Is it my turn yet?” I asked, laughing.
“Hey, it’s not funny! My eyes sting now.” He told me.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you like that.”
“It’s fine.” He said, smiling and moving to the back of the shower so I could wash up. I was standing under the shower head letting the water flow all over me, when he came up behind me and started kissing my neck. It felt so good. I had a thing with showers, however. I pushed him away.
“Hey, what’s up?” He asked.
“You can’t tease me like that!”
“Stop your whining! Let me clean up, I can’t stand fooling around in the shower!” I said, splashing him with water.
“You’re the one who climbed in here with me.” He said, smacking my ass as he climbed out of the shower. It only took me a few minutes, I had always been able to get ready fast. When I was done, I climbed out and wrapped my towel around me. Wiping away the steam from the mirror, I got a good look at myself. I was too skinny again, and my eyes had bags. A little make-up though, and I’d look fine. I really had to stop the drugs, and drinking, but I couldn’t. It was who I was. I took a deep breath, and brushed my teeth. When I was done, I went back to my room and Peter was waiting for me. He walked over to me, and picked me up in his arms. I felt him kiss my neck as he walked me to my bed. He laid me down, and I let him undo my towel.